Maverick Maniac's Musings

May 28, 2008

A little about me

Filed under: Uncategorized — skypowers @ 3:48 am
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In his infinite wisdom, the main poster on this blog and good friend of mine, Jon, decided to invite me to muse maniacally on this blog. Now, I don’t proclaim to be particularly insightful or even all that interesting, but I’ve been told I can spin a mean yarn from time to time. So anytime I’m feeling inspired, I’ll throw any blogophiles on the blogosphere a bone and post.

I figure I’ll mostly be posting about sports to fit with the loose theme of this blog, but like Jon, it won’t be entirely about the groups of my classmates scoring points and such. Even I have a point where I have to sit back and think, “Whoa, do I really have the top 8 career rushing leaders in Nebraska history memorized?” (…yes.)

That all being said, I figure I should give you all a brief glimpse into the insanity that is SkyPowers. I’ve always been a staunch supporter of the theory that you can’t really know a person until you see them face a crisis. Even if said crisis is something small, like having a bird poop on them, how the person responds to the situation can give you a lot of insight to that person’s personality. Sometimes problems bring out the best in people, other times it shows a dark underbelly previously unseen.

With all this in mind, I would like to introduce you to myself, via my plan and response to one of the most pressing and terrible crises humans will ever face; the threat of widespread zombie infestation.

Most people who have given thought to this threat have merely given thought to which weapons or supplies they would grab and a vague idea of where they would head. As the proud owner and reader of several acclaimed zombie survival guides, I can assure you that this first step is vital, but to leave it at that first step is foolish and would almost definitely prove fatal. No, to survive a full-scale zombie apocalypse one would need further planning to suceed and survive. Thankfully I have planned further than most and am prepared to share my plan with you.

Once, I thought I would flee to a Wal-Mart or a mall of some kind, a “dawn of the dead” type plan and on face value it makes great sense. Near unlimited supplies, weapons/ammo and entertainment, a nice sturdy structure to hunker down and barricade and enough room to house plenty of friends and family. Seems pretty swell til you add the human factor in. In times of crisis, mobs of people stream and buy or steal these kinds of places out of their most useful items. These scores of people gathering will do nothing but attract the attention of the zombie menace, who will shuffle (any plan is useless against fast zombies) their way over to turn your once seemingly safe haven into a slaughterhouse. Not good.

My plan takes the human factor out of it. More humans = more zombies, so getting rural is a must. I’m not saying you should be completely isolated and alone (what a pitiful survival and remaining existence that would be!), but keep in mind the more humans brought along, the more likely a zombie will be attracted to your situation.

My plan is to escape to a forest. It’s well known that zombies can’t climb (as previously mentioned, fast zombies means everyone is screwed anyway), so escaping to a forest with plenty of trees to climb for escape is just downright logical. Add in the lack of a significant population center and a wealth of resources to forage and you’ve got yourself the perfect place to lay low until society is reestablished.

Think the Ewok village in Star Wars, only instead of teddy bears that kill storm troopers, you have flesh eating undead demonspawn. Sounds kinda fun, no?

First, start humble. Pack a hammock or make one and string it between two trees. Throw a sub-zero rated sleeping bag and you could weather a few weeks ’til you’re able to complete work on a small treehouse. Continue expanding as needed and as the local trees will support. It’s practically like reliving your childhood, only instead of just imagining being rid of society and rules and homework, you’ll actually be shed of rules and society due to both being brutually savaged in a constant stream of blood and zombies.

Don’t look at me like that, I’m just looking for a bright side here.

Anyway, a tree city is nearly perfect and can support a decent crowd, if you’re a family man. Personally, they’re great people, but I run faster than all of them and a double helping of forest-forged dinner is too good to not trip one or two of them up with sticks. But that’s just me.

Evolution suggests our shared ancestors once escaped to the trees in more primitive times, much like modern monkeys. Applying this principle to a zombie apocalypse could save you and your loved ones. Just don’t try and touch my dinner.



1 Comment »

  1. I love it. Great first post.

    Comment by Jon Green — May 28, 2008 @ 4:17 am | Reply

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